Sorry, sincerely

I stepped out of my shell
Into spontaneity
I took the risk
Unlike my nature
I let things race
Out of control
And stepped off
the edge of reason

All so I could
I could discover you
In the naive hope
Of capturing your heart
I stepped out
Outside myself
I exposed myself
Open and vulnerable
So you could trust me

I'm sorry
Sincerely sorry
For scarying you away
It was not my intention
To freak you out
Or to disrespect you
I didn't realise
My ways and charms
Of drawing you out
Only pushed you
Further away from me

Left alone in thought
To ponder over my actions
I'm overwhelmed,
Ashamed and broken
Of my actions
And all my inner scars
Remind me in silence
I'm going around
In circles non-stop
Repeating endlessly
Not only to my shame
But wrecking havock
In my wake...

I don't know your thoughts
Mysterious man
With your many secrets
As you keep it all inside
Yet I can only hope
My perceptions of you
Have been all real
And that you bear
The strength to overcome
The strength I lack
To overcome this
This which we've shared
And I hope deeply
That you will never
Forget me, broken and all

Sorry, sincerely
For any pain ive caused
Through my naivety
I have always sincerely
Liked getting to know
Who you are deep down
I loved how it all flowed
The connection
Between us so natural
I loved being with you
And didn't want to part
With you I enjoyed the moment
Letting it all flow
Letting go of resistance
Didn't even worry me
I wanted you, you only

Sorry sincerely
Sorry to bother you
I don't know how to let go
It felt all so real
So amazing and complete
I didn't even realise
I gave you my heart
Without even a thought
I've lost my sanity
And can't control my heart
Beating insanely fast
I find myself wishing
The pain within will fade

Sorry sincerely
For I don't know how
To stay spontaneous,
Fun and adventurous
As I was with you
For you brought this out
And took out my defenses
Without even realising it
With you I felt alive
As I opened my heart
Now I just want to hide
Deeper within myself
Behind my familiar mask

Sorry if this disappoints you
But on my own this is me
Guarded behind deep layers
Of masks and kindness
With time and space
You will hardly recognise
The woman you almost loved